what a caring society we live in
Posted by
AndyP
on 11th August 2009
at 23:01
I can understand your anger. We had to fight hard to get help, it felt like a constant battle- doctors, LEA, teachers etc etc.
The most horrifying thing we have witnessed is the attitude of society and supposedly well educated parents. When we received our sons school file we were disgusted by the complaint letters we saw (none of which the school informed us about). People (a term I use in its broadest sense) described our son as a "wild animal", "disruptive influence" and "disgrace", one parent even suggested he should be locked in an institution for "things like him". The headteacher didn't want him at the school because it looked bad on her figures. Minutes of the governors meetings demonstrated an effort by "upstanding citizens" to knowingly remove children with any form of difficulty from the school.
Before the government will listen we need to gain the support of society at large and change attitudes of the ignorant masses who only pay lip-service to equality and have little understanding of the real issues.
Posted by
josarahb
on 11th August 2009
at 23:18
I feel it too. my son is only three and is undergoing scrutiny in order to get my son diagnosed, including his nursery trying to cover up his bahavour in order to gain popularity points about their 'good conduct' and 'well behaved children' as a result of their professionalism. My local shop keeper openly announced that my son was a "little bugger" and needed a "bloody good hiding", purely because my son became overwhelmed as the shop became busier than usual. its like everyone is out to prove that my son is just naughty, i try to protect him from the world, but what about when he starts school? Maybe people would be more understanding if he used a wheelchair and they could physically see his disability!
Posted by
Sasha Daly
on 12th August 2009
at 11:35
The experiences you've talked about here are really terrible, and it's really upsetting to hear that these problems continue to happen.
I'm the policy manager at TreeHouse and agree that more action needs to be taken to stop these bad practices, which is why TreeHouse decided to work to raise awareness of these problems with decision-makers. We do this through working on new policy initiatives and business in parliament. Some changes need to happen at a national level, which is the work of the policy team, and some at a local level, where we work with parents and local authorities around the country to work together to develop services.
If you want to find out more about the work we do on influencing decision-makers please do get in contact. We don't just work on our own but often in partnership with other organisations like the National Autistic Society, or through our work with consortiums, like the Autism Educaton Trust and The Communications Trust.
The Trusts are just starting some work on looking at the youth justice system, TreeHouse has worked hard to ensure that a focus on autism will be included in this work. If you want to find out any more just let me know. Of if you'd like to find out about any existing campaigning/parent groups in your area let me know too. Or if none of this is for you that's fine too of course! But I do hope having taken the step to write down your experiences and getting responses has been of some support in itself.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if there's anything we can do to help.
All the best
Sasha
Posted by
Elena - former Community Manager
on 12th August 2009
at 21:36
David, thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. I hope that you will be able to find some useful advice for taking action. You're right, there must be thousands of people (likely many thousands!) who are in the same situation - so I hope you'll keep us all informed of anything you participate in, or any progress that you see. And I hope you will contact Sasha regarding her post.
It seems that your son - and your whole family - have had a harsh experience and though it may seem utterly impossible I hope you will be able to somehow find a way to help him through his time in prison so that he can move on to a healthier life afterward. Talking may not be the answer but it very well could be the first step toward finding that crucial piece of information which may help you find the most appropriate action to take. (Someone once told me "where there is lack of inspiration there is often missing information" so this is kind of where my thinking is going here....)
We're glad to have you here. : )
Elena
Posted by
Josie Barnshaw
on 12th August 2009
at 22:39
Hi David
I couldnt agree with you more when you say we need other parents in the same situation; the support and exchange of advice and strategies is worth its weight in gold. If you look at some of the past posts on this forum you will find that we have parents who live close enough to each other and who have met (through this forum) and now meet up for coffee and chats and whose children are now friends with each other.
These forums may seem impersonal at first glance, but dig a little deeper and you will find that we are connecting parents and children on the spectrum, providing social outlets, as well as the advice and exchange of coping strategies both with regard to our children and indeed us, as parents.
I am both a parent (and a single one) of three children, one diagnosed, one undiagnosed and one non-ASD (all of them teenagers) and the ex-wife of an adult on the spectrum. Even though I was married for 25 years to someone on the spectrum and have brought up three children (two on the spectrum) I am still learning and picking up tips and gaining understanding for some of my son's difficulties from the other parents and specialists on this forum. You can never have too much knowledge and every little bit of support, be it in person or using today's technology, is more than welcome.
I hope things get better for you and your son.
Josie
Posted by
michaelz
on 29th November 2010
at 11:42
there are a lot of people in prison with various mental health issues which have never been properly addressed.
it's an expensive way to warehouse humans IMHO.
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Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in persistent criminal offenders: the need for specialist treatment programs
Susan Young & Emily Goodwin
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Posted by
david
on 11th August 2009
at 22:37
Just saw the BBC programme on bbc 3.
Saw this as a link to help/answers.mmmm
seen other things like this, just seems to be a lot of people attention seeking looking for someone to talk to.
While everyone is talking a lot of lives are being destroyed, the children with autism, the families.
The doctors dont recognise it, treat it as adhd, when you tell them they are wrong, you get dismissed.
When it is too late they diagnose them as autisitic, but heh, they are too old at 18 to help so they are on the scrap heap.
instaed of talking, why dont we all get together, there must be thousands of us, chip in a few thousand each and build some thing and employ specialists, that will help children in the future, to save them
My lad, too late now, has gone to prison at 18, as the only friends he ever got were the wasters, crooks who used him.
Judge was told not to put him to prison, they pleaded with him, judge said he understood, but it was not his problem, been in there a month now, tried to take his life, very seriuosly as well, we do not expext him to live longer than the 10 months he got, he will do it, i know he will, so i dont want another parent to go through the hell we have been through the last 12 years, dont talk about your problems, get together, as this country cares nothing for kids like this, all it does is put our tax up an additional 9% overall, my stamp is now 480 per month, i now pay an extra 150 pound tax per month on my company car,what a joke, and what do you get for it, nothing, if they gave me that money i could have got good private treatment for him, but no, they need it for the people who dont work or dont earn enough.
Talking gets you no where, action does, money talks, so if the government wont do it, we should, otherwise there is going to lots of kids like my boy and that has to stop.
get together and achieve something, or be british and achieve nothing on your own.