mother and child both autistic.
Posted by
Elena - former Community Manager
on 3rd February 2010
at 14:52
Hiya, Dianna! I think there are few people around here like you so hopefully they will stop by and say hello soon. We're glad you found us!
-elena
Posted by
Josie Barnshaw
on 3rd February 2010
at 15:03
Hi Dianna
Welcome to the group. I have three kids, the youngest of whom is 14 with a diagnosis of Aspergers.
I would first of all like to say that it has nothing to do with your parenting skills. No-one can be sure exactly what the cause of spectrum disorders, but my ex-husband, the kids' father, was diagnosed with Aspergers after our divorce.
It might a good idea to try to source a local support group or have your GP refer you to the local CAMHS clinic. My local clinic ran parenting groups specifically aimed at parenting children with Aspergers/Autism and other behavioural issues like ADHD.
Look forward to chatting more with you. If you have specific questions you want to ask feel free to do so.
Josie - Community Champion
Posted by
asteroids
on 3rd February 2010
at 15:22
Hi Dianna,
Welcome. I'm a mother with Aspergers Syndrome. I was only diagnosed a few years ago. I can appreciate that your own difficulties are affecting your confidence as a parent. My children are now independent and confident adults. They tell me that I am not like other mums but they wouldn't want me to change. They like me just as I am.
Feel free to ask questions. There are a few other parents with autism here and I'm sure they'll also be able to reassure you.
Asteroids Sara - Community Champion
Posted by
NickyB
on 3rd February 2010
at 15:48
Hello Dianna and welcome :)
I have 2 children. The eldest is 12 and does not have ASD. My youngest has autism, and they really are complete opposites. We have done our best to bring them both up using the same values and yet the youngest has many issues linked to his condition which cause him anxiety and result in behaviour problems. It has nothing to do with our parenting (and that's not just my view - several professionals have said that too!!) ASD and AS are very real conmditions and you deserve all the help and support which you can get. You will find plenty of that here :)
Nicky - Community Champion
Posted by
Leanne
on 4th February 2010
at 12:50
Hi Dianna
Welcome to the forum.. I have 4 children in total , 2 are my step-sons, my youngest is 8 and is autistic and my eldest is 14 and has aspergers.
My husband feels he may have aspergers although he does not have a diagnosis. I know that he has struggled for a long time with this and even now has a hard time accepting it. I would say though that the behaviours which we attribute to his Aspergers are what make him a fantastic husband and amazing Dad.
Whether you are on the spectrum yourself or not it is very difficult to parent children effectively, as all children are different and all children have their own special needs.As others have said, autism is a real condition and your parenting can't have caused it- I really feel for you because this sort of criticism helps no one.
Do you have any concerns at the moment that you want to chat about ??
Leanne - Community Champion
Posted by
Snowdrop
on 4th February 2010
at 13:31
Hi Dianna
I am a mum to 2 boys (a 4 year old with asd & an 11 month old).
I agree with the others that you shouldn't blame yourself or your parenting skills for your sons condition. If possible I would definately join a local support group (as meeting other parents in the same situation as yourself is a great comfort & source of info & advice) plus continue to use this forum for exactly the same reasons.
Since my sons diagnosis last year, my husband has begun to wonder if he too is on the spectrum as he says my son is exactly the same way he was as a child & my husband still struggles with certain social issues like using the telephone.
As Leanne says, if there are any specific things you would like to talk about at the moment then feel free to ask.
Tracy - Community Champion
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Posted by
di39
on 3rd February 2010
at 14:29
hello i m new, i have a ten year old son with aspergers and i m waiting to have myself diagnosed. my main concern is my son, but i find it difficult to cope with my own issues and seem unable to help him, despite understanding what he is going throygh. i struggle to accept he has it and that i may have it too. he has no brothers and sisters to compare to, so i go along with my mothers way of thinking that its my parenting thats caused the problems. i would be interested to hear from anyone, also families who have parents with autism.