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Posted by
suefh

on 18th January 2010

at 09:02

My name is Sue and I live in Kent.My 15 year old son is Autistic and causing me huge problems.Hope I can get some support from other parents with the same problems.

Posted by
Elena - former Community Manager

on 18th January 2010

at 10:54

Hi Sue! Welcome to the community.

I think you'll find lots of good advice and tips here - is there something in particular that you're struggling with at the moment?

elena

Posted by
Josie Barnshaw

on 18th January 2010

at 11:31

Hi Sue

Welcome to the group. My youngest is almost 15 with Aspergers Syndrome. What kind of problems are you having with your son?

Josie - Community Champion

Posted by
Leanne

on 18th January 2010

at 14:28

Hi Sue

Welcome to Treehouse.. I have a 14yr old step son with Aspergers.

Am happy to chat and swap experiences ;)

Leanne - Community Champion

Posted by
bumblebee

on 18th January 2010

at 15:03

Hi Sue,

Welcome! I'm a mum to 3 kids aged 4, 11 and 14 all on the autistic spectrum......If we can be of any help with your concerns please let us know.

Claire - Community Champion

Posted by
suefh

on 18th January 2010

at 15:08

Hi,My story is very long,but I will try and give a shortened version.My son was diagnosed 5 years ago with ASD,ADHD,dyspraxia,learning difficulties,problems with social skills.I had this assessment done privately,because my GP was not interested and I knew there was something wrong and didn't want to wait.Since then I have been fighting for support for him,with very little sucess,social services don't want to know as they say he is not a child at risk,everyone does not seem to know where he fits in and I am at my wits end.In the last year things have become far worse,he ran away from home last year,got in with the wrong crowd and now has criminal convictions.In Sepember last year his mood was very low,and again was becoming very aggressive and violent.He left the house saying he was going to kill himself,I called 999,the police found him on a bridge and sectioned him.Since then he has been in and out of a mental hospital,but now spends most of his time at home.He is taking Olanzapene to try and help,but I am not sure it is helping anymore.I thought at first when he was sectioned that maybe now someone will listen,but how wrong I was.The hospital have tried in vain to get any help in my area of Kent.The police are fed up of been called out when he gets violent or when he runs away.I have just been to see my MP to see if he can help.I have 4 boys and am on my own since I divorced 3 years ago, and life is getting very difficult,it seems like no one cares.Sorry for going on,like I said its a long story.Thanks for listening.

Posted by
bumblebee

on 18th January 2010

at 15:46

Hi Sue,

I really feel for you. My daughter is 14 and has spent time in a psychiatric hospital....I know what you mean when you think at last someione will help now.....how wrong could I be!! You say you live in Kent, do you live anywhere near Medway? I only ask because we run an autism support group here called MAGIC and there are a few mums who have been in similar situations in the past with their sons so if it's not too far for you to travel, you would be welcome to come and join us.

Also, I would suggest you look into getting legal aid and instructing a solicitor as we had to do this to get social services and the health authority to do their jobs properly....it is disgraceful that at times of crisis the very services set up to support us turn their backs but it happens far too often to too many families.....mine included. There is a link on this forum to proffessional recomendations and the solicitors we used are in that thread....they are excellent and I'd definately recommend them.

I agree that you need help now, It is unfair and unacceptable that you have had to struggle through all this for this long without help, but I'm glad you found us.....we are always here for a chat or to offer our support, advice and opinions if you need it.

Take care and stay strong :0)

Claire - Community Champion

Posted by
Leanne

on 18th January 2010

at 16:51

Hi Sue,

Am so pleased you have found Treehouse , even though I cant identify with what you are going through I am more than happy to listen and help if I can. Your situation sounds horrific.

I hope you dont mind me asking but shouldnt there besome sort of care plan in place.. did you ever get his diagnosis confirmed by an NHS doctor ??

Leanne - Community Champion

Posted by
Josie Barnshaw

on 18th January 2010

at 18:50

Hi Sue

You may have to do what I ended up doing and change your GP so that you can get your son referred, although I dont understand why they cant refer him when he has been so depressed he has threatened to kill himself. This surely classifies as being "at risk" in anybody's book.

I had to change GP to get my son referred. How does your son feel about his diagnosis? Has he had any input from the CAMHS team? It would perhaps be worthwhile trying to get a referral to them for some cognitive behavioural therapy and anger management. My son has had all this therapy and some of it he had before he was diagnosed. If your GP refuses to refer him then I would be tempted to register with another GP and if there isnt one in your area then I would take this up with your local Health Authority, ie, put in a complaint. Your son needs help and if your GP isnt willing to do it then he isnt leaving you with much options.

Do let us know how you get on.

Josie - Community Champion

Posted by
suefh

on 18th January 2010

at 19:04

Hi Claire, It's nice to hear from people that understand how I feel.Yes I have just been told about MAGIC from my MP Jonathan Shaw,I live in Chatham and plan on contacting them,I have known the people at the Kent Autistic Trust for a while.How did it work out for you with social services?did getting a solicitor help? I am willing to try anything.My son is coming home tomorrow for a week,again there is no support in case things go wrong,they say he can go back to the hospital at any time,but that is in Sevenoaks and I have no car,the police don't want to bother,I have complained to the Inspector,only to be told,why don't I have my son put into care,she said the police will not come to the house unless I put in an assault charge on my son,when really all I want is someone to try and calm him down.

Thanks for the advice

Sue

Posted by
suefh

on 18th January 2010

at 19:16

Hi Leanne, Thanks for the reply.Yes the private diagnosis was confirmed by CAMHS,we went there for several years,and then they closed his file without my knowledge.When we have CPA meetings at the hospital CAMHS turn up when they feel like it,and the last time they said that Autism was not a mental health problem but behavioural. I keep asking for a care plan,some things are in place like school,but thats about it.Thanks for listening.

Sue

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