Help with Noise

Hello Adrian,

Not sure if I am much help here - I get the same thing.  Quite often I will have to leave the room.  If it is lots of conversations going on at the same time, it depends on the situation.  If someone is giving a talk, I put my hand in the air and then ask if people can not talk over the speaker, as I have asperger's and I can't focus on what is being said.  I don't think this is rude when they are being rude for disrupting the speaker.

As for the general noise of contemporary life - I have no idea how to block it out unfortunately.  My son sticks his fingers in his ears, yet even this doesn't help sometimes!

Damian

Hi Adrian,

As you know, I struggle with noise too but I seem to have developed strategies to help me cope in some situations.

I'm not sure what I do to cope so I can't give you a definite answer. If I'm in a noisy place and I don't have to concentrate or focus on one noise (eg train station), I can just tune out and allow all the noises to merge together. The problem with this is that I don't hear  anything so would not hear someone talking to me. This could be a bit dangerous of there was an alarm or an emergency.

If I'm in a noisy place where I have to listen to a specific noise (eg a pub quiz, one conversation in a noisy room), I do struggle and I do find it painful and distressing. I try to focus on that one thing and block out other noises. I try to lip read if I can't hear the person. I make sure I have an escape route.....sit near the door for example. I make sure I have a quiet place to go to afterwards so that I can calm down. 

In some ways, knowing that I have an escape route and a place to go helps me to cope with the noise because I am not anxious about what might happen if I can't cope. That's what we try to do with children who have ASD, make sure they have coping strategies which reduce the anxiety and this in turn reduces the sensitivities.

It doesn't always work: my train journey is a classic example (no escape route). When I have to go shopping, I tend to avoid shops which have loud music blaring out. I also build in bookshop breaks as these places are generally quiet and calm and have places to sit and read.

I'm not sure if this helps you much. I'll analyse it all whilst I'm walking.

Asteroids Sara - Community Champion

you're lucky you didn't go to my school, Adrian.

it was a boarding school and the noise in the refectory was deafening - although that was just one of the school's extremely unpleasant aspects.

i'm not a great fan of communal eating especially since i used to work in the catering industry - it always strikes me as bit like the deep south where plantation owners and their friends used to sip mint juleps on balconies while slaves labored in the fields.

the restaurant trade has similarities - all unctious soliciitude out front while bullying and abuse are rife behind the scenes.

although, having said that, in the unlikely event i came into a substantial fortune, i'd probably override my social conscience and wine-and-dine with relish (paying no attention to the miserable lives of minions in kitchens).

i could do with some peace and quiet myself.

i live on a main road.

or to be more accurate i live in a block of flats which abuts a main road.

it's very noisy :(

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Listen to the silence

Silence may be golden, but where, in this noise-filled world of ours, can you truly experience it? Stuart Jeffries heads off to a spiritual retreat in search of some inner peace...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/29/silence-living-without-noise-mediation

http://www.saramaitland.com/Silence.html

Article by Stuart Jeffries is interesting. I had a similar problem on the train from Plymouth to Paddington. The quiet carriage was so unbearably noisy, I almost got off the train at Reading because it was so distressing for me. I complained to the train company and they gave me a £20 voucher. I guess, if more people did that, they would soon enforce the quiet carriage rules :)

Asteroids Sara - Community Champion