Dealing with the whining!
Posted by
Josie Barnshaw
on 3rd March 2010
at 14:21
Hi Debbie
When you say he cant tell you do you mean he is non verbal or do you mean when you ask he cant answer? Have you tried asking various questions that require "yes or no" answers? Another thing is it is maybe a sensory issue; a noise he hears, a smell or a sensation from an article of clothing.
Maybe he just likes the sound of the whining. Why dont you try recording it and letting him listen to it through earphones and see what happens.
Could he maybe be unwell, have a sore throat, earache or something that he cant explain?
Sorry I seem to be just firing questions at you here and hoping something helps.
Josie - Community Champion
PS Have you introduced anything new to the house; air freshener, new laundry detergent, etc (these things used to set my son off, but he is old enough now to verbalise and complain about it).
Posted by
Leanne
on 3rd March 2010
at 18:24
Hi Debbie,
Would he respond to finger to lips and 'sush time'- quite often i use this when mine is incessantly making noises , I also use quiet time / no talking time and time out if he doesn't stop. I must admit that I clamp down on this behaviour very hard as I don't like lots of shouting etc in the house, I trained mine to have indoor and out door voices .
I also use distraction techniques like his personal dvd player which has headphones - this usually quietens him down.
If it is purely a case of him making a noise that he likes and you just having to cope with it then I would recommend ear plugs.. or mp3 with good headphones. It is really rather lovely being able to tune out to the chaos around you sometimes :)
Leanne - Community Champion
Posted by
Josie Barnshaw
on 3rd March 2010
at 18:31
Hi Debbie
Mmmm interesting .. well if he got to sleep then I would think it cant be that he is in any pain. This is a difficult one. I really feel for you and I dont have a magic wand, unfortunately.
Does he like sensory things like bubble lights, or rope lights or some of these sound machines that make calming noises or have a favourite video/DVD that would distract him. This must be really hard for you and I wish I could be of more help.
Have you tried the PECS (picture cards) to help him communicate.
I am hoping some of the other girls will pop in who maybe have some experience of this difficulty and have some magic left in their wands.
I have to pop out now but I will check in again when I get back. Hope things are settling for you.
Josie - Community Champion
Posted by
damo73
on 3rd March 2010
at 18:41
Hello Debbie,
I understand some of your difficulties as my son is quite good at whinging and whining too. It usually revolves around food (yet sometimes for a more general attention / comforting). About the age of your son, he managed to learn to rub his tummy to show his need for food - he then did it quite a lot and regularly. He then moved on to shouts of 'grier' (hungry) and more recently particular food related words - 'milk' and 'snacker' (he likes to put an 'er' or 'ier' at the end of words). You could try offering different things that you know he likes or are comforting (yet you probably do this already). Prevention before the event is best - yet this is not always possible - e.g. my son can go from happy and giggly to upset in a blink of an eye. In some ways I am lucky to be on the spectrum myself - because I can often 'get' what he is thinking without him having to use words (we are often set off by the same things etc.).
I don't think there are any magic wands out there (not that I have found anyway!) - and I am sure anyone would find your situation difficult to deal with. I guess my only advice is to try and pinpoint the things that calm him and make him happy - and the things that are the opposite for him. Both my son and myself are hypersensitive to smells, lights, noises etc. - so many things can upset us (shops, too many people, too many words be spoken too quickly, sirens, perfumes, flourescent lights etc.). It may be something to do with sensory overload?
Hope this helps...
Damian
Posted by
Snowdrop
on 4th March 2010
at 12:09
Hi Debbie
My son is 4 with ASD and he went through a stage where he used to scream, scream & scream some more. Although he doesn't do it anymore, if something upsets him or I tell him 'No' to something he will often let one out just to let me know his not happy. He also went through a stage of slamming doors that drove me up the wall, we got rid of this one by buying him his very own playhouse with a door that he could slam till his hearts content, once he was allowed to do this and we took no notice he soon stopped doing it all day long but again as with the screaming if he gets the hump about something now, he'll more often then not go in his playhouse and start slamming the door.
As the others have said, it could be somethings wrong and therefore a sensory issue or it could actually be he likes the noise. I would definately try Josies idea of recording him doing it and see if he will listen to it on headphones but if you feel its more that his unhappy then it won't be so easy finding out the cause. It could be he likes your reaction to it, especially if he sees it upsets you or you leave him alone and go upstairs, perhaps its a way of shutting people out.
Maybe buying him some noisey toys might do the trick if he realises he can make loud noises with them instead. Does your son have an OT, have you asked them for ideas?
Sorry, I can't be of more help.
Tracy - Community Champion
Posted by
asteroids
on 4th March 2010
at 14:30
Hi Debbie,
I'm afraid I can't offer any more magic but you've got some great advice already. I hate any sort of whining and am very noise sensitive. I think I'd have to hide away and try to ignore it. Hopefully the paediatrician can offer some help. I'd definitely look into PECS too.
Do let us know how you get on.
Asteroids Sara - Community Champion
Posted by
KITTY25
on 5th March 2010
at 21:42
Hi my my son bexley who is 4 1/2 runs around screeming aaaaaaaaahhhhhh very high pitched a lot. Not as much as he used to but still does and particually up and down front room touching sofa then wall over and over like the beep test we used to do at school! sometimes we can get him to stop by getting something out for him to do or putting a dvd on ect but sometimes nothing works. He just has to do it. Nothing wrong with him. Sometimes he will also jump up and down while doing it or shake fists, Sometimes i think its something he does out of frustration over not being able to communicate. But getting better i think thanks to pecs as can ask for stuff easier. I was woried at first about pecs he would just use pictures never words. But was surprised it does work and he does now have more words he uses so do look into it. Eventually your head does get used to the sound. Used to bother me a lot got lots of headaches! now i barly have anything. You could try shock tactic scream loudly yourself might get his attention and might realize what he doing. Good luck.
Kitty x
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Posted by
purplemac
on 3rd March 2010
at 13:41
This is a tough one for me to ask advice about because I shouldn't be saying this about my son. But BLIMEY the whining is driving me nuts!!!
He's nearly 5 and two weeks away from a Paediatrician appointment, then hopefully (Yeah I know!!) we can get the help he needs.
He can't tell us what's wrong. We understand that, but it's not 'normal' kiddie whining, it's high pitched and all day!! He was like it at school yesterday and he started again this morning, so I kept him at home because it wasn't fair on the teachers to send him in when he's like this. (He's in main stream school at the mo, but he'll hopefully go to a special needs school soon)
I'm hiding up stairs, I can still hear him, I know he's OK. But I'm crying because the mere thought of going back down because I just can't bear the noise.
Any help or tips would be really, really helpful.
Debbie