Meeting Teachers - What to ask for!!!
Posted by
NickyB
on 17th September 2009
at 09:56
Hi Claire
Oliver sounds just like my Stuart (6). He does not have a statement (yet!!) His school have put in place 1-2-1 teaching for him and support in the playground. So yes it is possible to get a high level of support - in fact the school have an obligation to make 'reaonable adjustments' to ensure that he can access the curriculum and integrate socially. It might be an idea to get a copy of the SEN code of practice so you know exactly what they should be doing.. You can download it from http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/docbank/index.cfm?id=3724 . The SENCO told me yesterday that a statement does not now give the school access to any more funding as thay already have an SEN budget and so I think they should be using it to help your son.
I would be inclined to be 'friendly but firm' with them. Make a note of all his problems and ask them what they can do to help. In the case of Stuart's school they have been fantastic and tried just about anything to help reduce his anxiety. If you've seen my other post in the Education Forum you'll know that he was excluded yesterday, so it's not all rosy, but I am happy with the way they handled it and I have never had to fight them to get support. Hopefully you will find the same at Oliver's school. I think it's so important to keep on good terms with the school and, if you do need to make suggestions, they should be open to listening to you. After all, you are his mum and you know him best. Good luck with the meeting and let us know how it goes.
Oh and I am sure we've all felt like ranting about this subject from time to time - in fact, have you visited our 'ranting room' ? It's a great place to get it all out of your system!!!
Nicky - Community Champion
Posted by
NickyB
on 17th September 2009
at 10:51
Sorry to hear you school are not being very helpful Claire. Yes, we are trying to get a statement, as we would like to safeguard the support he has and also give ourselves options to look at special schools if the need arises. The LEA are refusing to even assess him, saying that the school are doing fine as things are. I am about to send them a copy of yesterday's exclusion report and see if that helps them reconsider. I'm also appealing to SENDIST so maybe that will help to 'focus their minds' !!!
I am getting the feeling (and the SENCO agrees) that the LEA just want to see which parents are up for a fight, as they have refused all applications to assess an the last few months. Well, If they want a fight, I'm more that happy to oblige (hee hee!!!)
Such a shame that we have to go through all this, but that's the way it is, so we'll keep on fighting for our lovely boy.
I hope you get things sorted for Oliver without too much of a battle.
Nicky - Community Champion
Posted by
Josie Barnshaw
on 17th September 2009
at 15:14
Hi Claire
Just catching up with the posts and spotted yours about your meeting with your son's school tomorrow. I see a familiar scenario with your son in the playground; my son was the same in Primary School, but the school were very good. They arranged for a room to be available for him to go to in break time (he could also take one other child with him). As far as trying to improve his social skills they set up a "circle of friends" by selecting a few other children (who would hopefully influence Tom's behaviour and improve his social skills, in other words, well behaved, polite children who they thought were capable of encouraging Tom towards social interaction). They cleared it with these children's parents and some of these kids are still friends of Tom's now that he is in his third year of High School although he seems to be unable to take these friendships out of the school scenario.
Writing and homework seem to be major issues for those on the spectrum. I think the problem is that (or certainly this is how my son describes it) their brain is so far ahead of their hand (when writing) that they lose track and get frustrated and give up - at least as far as the writing goes.
With homework there is also the issue of compartmentalising things. Tom sees homework as being something that should be done in school, not at home. He also sees it as repetitive as he has already done this in the class so why should he do it again? This I think is down to, like you say, the fact that he has a really good memory (especially for the subjects he likes). The school and I have tried many, many things to try to resolve the homework issue and are still struggling; there doesnt seem to be an easy answer.
Perhaps something along the lines of a Circle of Friends would work for your son.
Hope your meeting goes well.
Josie - Community Champion
Posted by
bumblebee
on 17th September 2009
at 17:34
Hi there...the same as Josie, I have been catching up on the posts too....manic week!!
I agree that a firm but calm approach always works best. If you know what the issues are and ways to address them, they will see that you are not a parent that will be palmed off easily! Yes you can request a statement for your son, I requested statements for all 3 of my children as I wasn't prepared for them to wait any longer without support or appropriate support anyway! With my son, I requested it at nursery...sort of opting out of the whole....lets see how it goes stage!! but to be fair, my older daughters' expieriences were pretty bad!! I am sure there are enough of us on this forum that can guide you through the process. The ipsea webste has template letters on it that you can complete and send to the LEA. I used this one so I'm more than happy to help you complete it just give us a shout!!
Good luck tomorrow.....I have a telephone directions hearing for my son's Tribunal tomorrow so am feeling a bit nervous too!! Fingers crossed it's a good day for both of us!
By the way, please all feel free to ask Hollie/Charmed (under general autism/autism expert) anything you like from an autism perspective....she is really enjoying chatting to you all!!
Claire - Community Champion
Posted by
Josie Barnshaw
on 18th September 2009
at 13:19
Hi Claire
Just like Ollie, Tom behaves reasonably well at school and takes out all his frustrations in the home and like yourself I think the school and agencies that I deal with dont quite appreciate the extent of the difficulties we face at home.
I also know what you mean about other parents and their lack of understanding of autism, but I have always felt that it is better that those in contact with Tom know the reason for his behaviour, in particular his lack of social skills especially his abrupt manner of communicating and his brutal honesty which are the main cause of contention among his peers. I also feel that if the "autism ignorance" was addressed it can only help our children. If there are still some people who dont want to deal with it then it is better that they keep their distance, in my opinion. I have family members who think my son's behaviour is just him being rude and ignorant, needless to say I give them a wide berth having tried to educate them and been unable to get through to them. As I have heard it said before "it is their loss".
As to your other point about a statement, if I understand it correctly, the statement is the equivalent of the old "record of needs" and is a legally binding document and therefore once it has been completed the Department of Education is bound to provide the assistance contained therein. I know that when Tom was in Primary school it was the Record of Needs and like yourself I was fobbed off with "he doesnt need one" and unfortunately I let them away with this. Instead they set up an "IEP" Individual Education Plan which is just an informal guidance for teachers setting out their goals for the term, etc and is not legally binding upon them. If I had my time again, I would definitely be more proactive in obtaining a Statement.
Anyway, hope today goes well. Do let us know how you get on.
Josie - Community Champion
Posted by
bumblebee
on 18th September 2009
at 15:00
Hi Josie and Claire,
I am in two minds about the statement really... only because in theory, mainstream schools 'should' be able to provide and make reasonable ajustments for our children and therefore unless there are additional diagnosis and complex needs, and is progressing towards meeting his potential (not how he is doing in relation to his peers-that isn't an issue) in theory, he shouldn't need a statement.....although saying that, I have applied for one for all 3 of my children...but my oldest doesn't have learning diff, but severe emotional/social needs and needed specialist provision, my 11 yr old has 2 specific learning difficulties as well as Aspergers and a specific language impairment and needed specialist provision, and my youngest....well he has the most autism out of the three of them and after playing the LA's games for all these years...I am OPTING OUT!! so he needs specialist provision!!
I'd have a good think about the outcomes you want for your son and wether you want mainstream or specialist school....what you don't want to do is statement him out of mainstream if that is where you want him..and also you don't want his needs to go unaddressed - like Josie said, I'm sure getting a statement would have made thigs easier for her and her son..does that make sense??! If the consultant says he doesn't need a statement....I wouldn't take that as you won't get one, but it may indicate a bumpy road ahead with the need for independent assessments......
Lots to think about!! Whatever you decide, we will be here to help in any way we can :)
Thanks for your best wishes for the SENDIST Telephone directions hearing, its all done and dusted.....what is that song???.....oh yes..... I predict a riot?? It was going through my mind all afternoon...can't think why!! :) We are very luck though to have the best Barrister in the world!! Poor man can't get rid of us! he helped us on our daughters disability discrimination claim nearly a year ago and hasn't left us since!! Parents can win, but after being on this rolercoaster for a few years now....I would look into getting some independent or legal help at some point.....
Claire - Community Champion
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Posted by
LittleMissSunshine
on 17th September 2009
at 00:11
Hi All
I am meeting with my son's teachers Friday to talk about his Asperger's syndrome and how it impacts him at school. Currently not sure how to go about it! From reading some of the forum posts I realise that i'm likely to have a battle on my hands!
My question is do I go in all nice mummy waiting for them to tell me what they are going to do to support my son (I know it's unlikely) and then inform them of what they should be doing or do I go in telling them what we want/expect and ask how they are going to deliver!!!
I've been amassing info and will spent tomorrow reading and highlighting salient points so hopefully by Friday I'll know more or less what we are initially entitled to, but how to best go about getting it I'm not sure.
I have to say I feel really angry that I have to do all this! The departmetn of Education is massive and has a huge budget - teachers and SENCO's are all paid. So why do I an unpaid mother have to spend my time doing their job!!!! (mini rant over - sorry).
Oliver's(5) main issues at school are:-
playtime/lunchtime - since going back he has spent most breaks walking around on his own - none of his friends from last year want to play the same game and Ollie hasn't/can't/won't move onto a new game! Also most of his friends are in a different class and they get to play certain things on different days - Ollie is resistant to playing with new or 'random' children.
academic ability - Ollie's academic ability in Maths and Englsih far exceeds that of his peers. He is an avid reader and can read (not necessarily understand) virtually anything. His maths again far exceeds that of his peers and in some areas that of the next year - he can do most of his tables - adds 3digit numbers - simple fractions - I think (although I don't know) that he's probably working at around Year 3. His school only go up to year 2. We have been very clear with the school that we don't want him to be pushed but we do want him to be challenged as we don't want him to be bored and possibly start to be naughty!!! His memory is amazing.
Ollie struggles with writing especially as the school have a policy of starting in reception with full cursive (it's very difficult) where every letter joins with loops in and out and by the time he's done his lead in and lead out and loops and stuff it's virtually illegible ! Which he finds very frustrating as his 'home' handwriting' is ok and readable. Last year they kept him out of some assemblies with others to practice which I'm not happy about as 1. it's a social thing which he does need lots of exposure to and 2. they were often speical ones ie. Air Ambulance which meant that he'd missed out of fun cool stuff!!!
Last question - my main concern is lunchtime as teachers aren't on duty and I don't feel that the dinner ladies watch him closely enough. In an ideal world initially I'd like the playworker (ELSA) to work with him at break and lunchtime until such time as he some strategies for dealing with the playground. I'd like them to help him to expand his base of children he will play with and to be more flexible with his idea of 'playing'. A big ask I know but I am so sad that he's spent the last 4 days walking around the playground on his own wanting to play but now knowing how! Can I get that level of support without a statement? As we've been told that he's not 'bad enough' for one! and from reading other posts I know that getting one could take years so it wouldn't solve my immediate problem. If it doesnt' improve then I'll bring him home for lunch - which obviusly I don't want to do as it will make him more socially isolated but it would be preferable to him being alone among some 200 children!!! Which is just too sad for words.
Cheers Claire