newbie
Posted by
Josie Barnshaw
on 15th August 2010
at 14:39
Hi Lesley
Welcome to the forum :)
I certainly feel your pain at not having your son living with you but on the other hand I can see that you appreciate that your sacrifice has had great benefits for your son. I think that's what being a parent is all about; recognising our child's needs and putting that before everything else (including our own needs).
Its brilliant that you are reaping the rewards of your sacrifice and your son is thriving and growing in the residential school ... long may it continue!!
Josie - Community Champion
Posted by
demipowell
on 15th August 2010
at 23:00
Hi Lesley
Welcome to the forum. My wee boy is five and a half. He doesnt have a diagnosis, but has lots of features typical of an ASD so I come here for advice and support.
I'm so pleased school is working out for your son. My son is just about to start school, so I'm a bit nervous. Sometimes we have to make tough decisions for them. I just wish these options were available as normal day school and not residential.
Demi
Posted by
asteroids
on 16th August 2010
at 08:33
Hi Lesley,
Welcome to the forum.
It must be very difficult for you and I appreciate that it was a tough decision. It sounds like an excellent school though and I'm sure both you and your son will benefit in the long term. Does he come home for the holidays and occasional weekends, or is it 52 weeks a year?
Asteroids Sara - Community Champion
Posted by
Mel C
on 16th August 2010
at 09:34
Hi lesley
Welcome :)
I'm mum to 3 children, my youngest Luke has just turned 2 and is under investigation after showing red flags for Autism, we see the doctor again at the beginning of Sept when I'm hoping he will be referred for diagnosis. I cant imagine having to send any of my children away to get the care that is appropriate for them, I feel for you but if you can already see changes then you must be reassured that it was the right decision.
I can so understand the grieving process, one of my daughters has had special needs from the age of 2 so I grieved alot for the child she was before and I know that when Luke gets his diagnosis however much I feel I have accepted he has autism, I will be heartbroken for a while.
Talk here if you feel you need to, you must miss your son terribly, do you get to visit him at all?
Take care, Mel x
Posted by
noggins
on 16th August 2010
at 10:08
Thank you for your kind words.
My son is on a 38 week placement, hes home on school holidays and what i liked was hes summer holiday is only 3 weeks long which is perfect for him.
I can visit at weekends if i give notice they dont object to others visiting him either, my son has a special bond with his carer that i pay for with my direct payments, he still has her during the holidays.
The school also phone me twice a week with updates and each week i get an update on how hes doing one from education and one from the 'house' he stays in, all with photos. He has outdoor space which he loves and more activities than i could ever provide.
The school listen and do not judge you as a parent, i was told the first time i left him that he will have two families now and he will gain a lot from this. Im not naming the school purely on selfish grounds as i have had to fight for this for over 2 yrs and not gone down the routes social services would of preferred.
Next term will be hard as its a long term of 7 weeks but hes settled and i need to pull myself together lol.
Mel C this decision has taken years and it was either this or my local social services would put him in care( well thats what they think).
Posted by
mollie136
on 16th August 2010
at 10:42
I understand, I have had 2 unsuccessful placements, son is at the severest end of wedge, got a feeling you understand. I am on the lookout for the next, I am glad you have found somewhere good! Gives me hope! But no matter how good, it is torture, it ached & hurt to screaming point! Couldn't sleep, funnily should have been able too after years of so little! No appetite!
On the way home I used to have to stop on the motorway to cry, I couldn't drive as I couldn't see!
To do the right thing takes the most courage of all, you are brave, you are on a journey many of have to face, it is never ending battle.
Son keep up the excellent progress, mum hang in its pretty unbearable but instead of hurting all of the time, things will improve & it will become some of the time & the edge of the bad feelings will smooth a little.
Best Wishes. Its tough life! Hang in there!
Posted by
Snowdrop
on 16th August 2010
at 20:01
Hi Lesley & welcome to the forum
I am mum to 2 boys, a 5 year old with ASD & an 18 month old.
My son started in mainstream reception last Sep but unfortunately it didn't work out & really wasn't the right place for him, after a fight with our LA he is due to start in a specialist autism unit in Sep. I found the whole thing of diagnosis, statementing, school issues really hard to deal with, I'm sure we all do, but I must say you have made a really brave & tough decision which I really admire you for.
I'm so glad that it is benefiting your son already as that must reassure you that you have made the right decision for him to have a brighter future.
Welcome again & feel free to come & chat to us anytime, take care.
Tracy - Community Champion
Posted by
Mel C
on 16th August 2010
at 20:26
Hi Lesley,
Thats great that you can visit and hes home for the school holidays.
I love the comment Mollie made about making the right decision takes the most courage of all.
I hope if I am ever in a similar situation I would be able to do what is right for my son, no matter how hard it might be.
Hope it gets easier for you soon, take care
Mel x
Posted by
Elena - former Community Manager
on 19th August 2010
at 15:06
Lesley, we're so glad you've joined us. I'm very excited to have someone from Walk In Our Shoes here with us in the forum! If you have any photos or anything to point us to about your experiences in WIOS, do let us know.
Hope you're enjoying this website and that you will make lots of new friends here!
Posted by
Hayles
on 22nd August 2010
at 08:55
Hi Lesley, Welcome to the Forum.
I have a 6 yr old with Asperger's.
Hayles x
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Posted by
noggins
on 15th August 2010
at 12:37
Hi my name is Lesley, im new to this site but not new to Autism or Treehouse.
I live in Ealing with my 11 year old autistic son added factors ADHD, challenging behaviour, pica, etc lol, i also have a 3 year old who is fine.
I know of Tresshouse through Ealing Contact a Family and also last year took part in Walk in their Shoes with one of our local MPs.
My son has just started residential school, its tough i feel like im grieving again for the loss of my child, i grieved when he was diagnosed.
He has been at this school 7 weeks and my god do they know what they are doing, im amazed in the changes in my son after just 4 weeks, it was a hard decision to make and took alot of time but with the right support i know in my heart i have made the right decision.
xx