Hi

Hi Suzi,

I'm a mum on the autism spectrum, as are teenage son and hubby. Welcome! Hope to hear more...

Ann - Community Champion

Hi Suzi

Welcome to the group :)

I am mum to three teenagers, the youngest of whom is the only one with a diagnosis (Aspergers). He is now 15 and was diagnosed when he was about 7/8 years old. My ex-husband, their father, was diagnosed with Aspergers in his late 40's. My oldest son who is almost 20 also struggles with issues relating to Aspergers (although he is not diagnosed).

My youngest son has attended mainstream school and like yours displayed no signs of aggression at school but kept it all for home. I found that a lot of the time the root cause for his anger was found to be something that was happening at school. I also found it helpful to let my son spend time on his own in his room and then speak to him when he had calmed down and was able to chat about what had happened and why .... it didnt always provide answers but it was helpful in bringing to his attention the affect it had on the rest of the family. I have also found as he has gotten older that the physical aggression has lessened to a great extent and he is more prone now to verbal outbursts, which while still upsetting are a vast improvement on the very phsyical reactions he had when he was younger.

It might be a good idea to have generalised chats about violence and negative physical contact with his siblings when things are calm and firmly set the boundaries for him and some consequences and stick to them. Of course, there should also be rewards for good behaviour (nothing expensive or extravagant, just something you know likes, such as his favourite meal or to watch a favourite DVD).

One of the things I did with Tom was to have a laminated poster up with the four things he was very guilty of "No kicking", "No biting", "no hitting" and "no pushing". Tom is a visual learner and takes things in much better if he can see the rules. Just last week he asked me to put one up in his room itemising all the things he needs to do to "Tidy his room" (a phrase I use all the time!!).

Josie - Community Champion

Hi Suzi & welcome to the forum

I'm sorry your having such a tough time of it at the moment but glad you are finding our forum helpful.

I am mum to 2 boys (a 5 year old with ASD & a 17 month old). Re. your sons anger with his siblings, I think Josie's idea of the laminated poster is a great one and to ensure you are always consistent when he doesn't stick to it. I have found with my son that if he gets away with something once he will think he can do it again & again, I have never let him get away with hitting his baby brother or vice versa, its an absolutely no, no in our house and if either of them do slip up, I always give a punishment.

The other thing, when you say he flips out over nothing, do you know much about sensory issues, how things like a clock, a fridge etc can be extra loud to our kids or how a flickering light could cause your son distress etc?? There could be things you could change around the house that could improve his behaviour but it would probably be a lot of trial and error to see if and what things were bothering him, do you think anything like this could be causing his behaviour?

Tracy - Community Champion

Hi Suzi,
Welcome, everyone on here is so lovely & welcoming. I joined only a while back. You can see my Intro. My son Mark is 6 yrs old & has Asperger's. We have been home educating him due to the Head mistress not believing he had Aspergers & was just very Naughty & needed good slap. He is going back to school in Sept. He to is highly intelligent & lots of people say a old head on young shoulders. But like a light switch going on he can flip & lose it. Anyone/Anything in his path will get hurt or broken.
Your not alone.
Hayles x