Confused and worried mum of 23 month old..

Hi Mel

Welcome to the forum :)

What age is your son? Are there any professionals involved with him at all? If not, it might be worth asking your GP for a referral to Child Psychology. My son is now 15 and was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was around 7/8 years old but I was also told when he was around 3 that he was too young to diagnose, but he did have input from the Child Psychologist for the two years or so before he was assessed and the Child Psychologist's reports formed part of the multi-disciplinary assessment process. It might also be worthwhile asking for a Speech and Language Therapy referral.

In the meantime are there any particular issues that you want to address with your son?

Josie - Community Champion

Hi Mel,

Welcome to the forum...I am mum to 3 children on the spectrum aged 4, 12 and 14. I am sorry, you are right, we cant say if he is autistic or not although I can totally appreciate this is what you need to know right now so you can start moving forward. Only a professional can diagnose and multi-agency is always the best so his needs can be fully identified and planned for....It would be unfair to suggest that he is autistic, although we can offer you our expiriences of our children and how they have developed.

One thing I can tell you without any doubt is that every person on the autistic spectrum is very different with skills, differences and difficulties in every area so its hard to say that he will follow this path or that one....Again, not very helpful! I think the best thing you can do right now is to read as much as you can and learn as much about autism as possible so if your suspicions are correct, you havent missed any chances to learn about your son. When you read things explaining autism, try and hold onto the parts that make sense to you and fits with your son and try to ignore the stuff that doesnt relate or make sense...as I said, they are all so different.

There is a fab book called playing laughing and learning with children on the autistic spectrum and the details are in the books section on this forum.....whatever your son's diagnosis, these games and activities will help him develop and help you to learn how to get into his world gently and at his and your own pace.....

You mentioned traits and will they get worse/better/stay the same...This is something you need to discuss with the proffessionals too really as they need to assess your son fully and try to identify his skills and strengths so they can find a way to work on his weaknesses....again, all children on the spectrum are different. My oldest daughter was like a little old lady when she was young and very advanced, my 2nd didnt move until she was about 15 months and had speech difficulties and my youngest son regressed at 15 months, lost all his language and a lot of skills, but is now 4, he is chatting away, reading, writing and is doing really well. My friends son also regressed at 15 months and lost his language but is 17 now and is still non-verbal. He is profoundly autistic (so they are opposite ends of the spectrum) but he has his own set of skills, is a very happy young man and has a lovely character which comes across without any words. Her other son was non-verbal until he was 7 and is classically autistic but has language and lots of other skills too and again is a fantastic young man and a real pleasure to be around....As you can see, they are all so very different and progress at different times and different rates and have different skills.

I know these are not the answers you are looking for right now, but if you try and focus just on your son and what he needs, what makes him happy and how he best progresses you wont go far wrong....Hopefully you can get together with a good professional soon who can answer some of your questions but in the meantime, if there are any particular issues you would like to work on or need some advice with, please do ask....

Claire - Community Champion

Hi Mel,
With Alistair and also his brother I have found that they are reluctant to do anything unless they 'see the point in it'. So something I worked on really hard was getting them to do things when I asked them.. whether they wanted to or not. Alistair has responded much better to this than his brother lol.
If I wanted Alistair to do an activity I would set time aside, make sure I was up for a battle and then introduce the task.. the very first thing I did with him was a jigsaw... oh my goodness what a performance. We were sat on the floor, with him between my legs I was holding his hand doing the puzzle, me being bright and positive all the time.. he was struggling ,shouting ,not happy but we finished it.. at the start I only did one of those a day. the rest of the time he pretty much just did his own thing.. he soon got used to activity time and we progressed from there.
So I would recommend doing a development appropriate task every day but keep it gradual and simple, always making sure you have the energy to complete the task.
Leanne - Community Champion